I spend every day exhausted, on the verge of tears, nauseated, trying desperately to keep a little bit of food in my stomach, feeling every moment like a failure for the lack of effort and the creeping impatience toward my wonderful two year old. I feel broken. I am tired of looking forward to the coming of each night so I can hibernate and forget my maladies and growing gloom.
I long for restoration. Revitalization. Energy.
I long for my own space to make beautiful and clean for my family. I long to have the joy and energy to do that. I long for our family to be standing on its own feet and to feel complete as just our family.
I long for a new beginning.
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